Everyone experiences anger, but not everyone shows it in the same way. Some hold it in until it is impossible to do so any longer. Some immediately let the feeling out because they cannot hold onto it. I am somewhere in the middle- it depends on the situation.
Orange Is Not My Color
If I feel attacked or if you’re messing with my kids, it’s pretty much an immediate thing. One of Matthew’s aunts discovered this when she made the mistake of yelling at Julian once. If he hadn’t pulled us apart, I might have ended up in jail.
After Jake died, I was angry at the whole world, especially those who turned on me for no reason. I almost attacked Jordan’s (then) girlfriend.
Thankfully, while in therapy, I worked on my anger issues. If not, I would probably have at least one assault charge by now. This is another reason that Rachel is a rockstar.
The women’s jail uniform around here is yellow, and that’s an even worse color for me.
Just because I went to therapy doesn’t mean my mouth has calmed down entirely- I’m still ready to yell at people. I’ll probably do so until I can’t anymore.
It does mean that I am more likely to think a bit more before I do anything else. Sara once nicknamed me the #QueenOfPetty and even my kids agreed with that one.
It beats jail, right? I’ll take petty with sides of snark and humor.
How Does Anger Affect You?
Anger doesn’t do so well for your body. Over time, if you stay constantly angry (which, honestly, isn’t a lot of fun), it can cause strain on your heart, muscles and other parts of your body. You remain stressed most of the time and generally not happy.
Some other effects:
- Anger becomes a faster response to situations instead of other emotions.
- Coping skills become harder to use
- Higher blood pressure, anxiety, and risk of headaches
- Higher risk of stroke
How Can You Manage Your Anger?
There are ways to try to manage your anger before it takes over your life. At some point, it may be time to call in a professional. That point is different for everyone, but in general, if it is interfering with your work, family and other aspects of life, it might be time.
Tips for Anger Management:
- Try to think before you speak. This is a hard one, seeing as I have major issues with this myself. I try my hardest, but sometimes… things just fly out.
- Get some exercise. Yoga does help with calming my mind, so does walking. Exercise helps with taking your mind off whatever it is that has made you angry.
- Come up with a possible solution. If the issue has an easy solution, work on it. It will save you from blowing up over something that didn’t require it.
- Don’t hold a grudge. I had to do major work on this one, but life really is too short for grudges.
- Use “I” statements- these minimize blame and lessen tension in an argument. Who needs more blame?
- Break out some humor. This can help break up a tense situation.
- Try some relaxation skills. Meditation is awesome and I highly recommend it.
This information was found at Mayo Clinic
It takes time to change the way you look at and respond to anger. It was one of the topics I worked on in therapy. I still have some work to do on that first tip.
Do you have issues with your anger? Do you have tips to share? Leave them in the comments!