A Fun Twist in Parenting: Annoying Your Child

Our kids do a lot of things to annoy us, even if we don’t want to admit it. They invade our space in the bathroom. They wear our bras on their heads, ask us the wildest things ever in public and delight in the looks we get from others, and my personal favorite: wait until the night before a major project is due to even start it.

Ugh. I cannot be the only mom out there with these thoughts.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. I’ve spent nights sleeping in very uncomfortable hospital chairs with Cameron after an SVT episode. I cried for two days after Lily’s First Steps eval. I held Julian down for staples in his head after playing on a trampoline with Cameron and friends went terribly bad.

However, these kids annoy me. A lot.

Recently, I had the flu, along with both boys. If you follow my social media you may have laughed at the posts about this. They lay in bed, chugging Gatorade while I had a horrible fever, barely held down Sprite and almost coughed up my left lung. Once they felt better, they were back to bouncing around on my bed, making up for lost time.

Sometimes Parents Need a Little Fun

Parenting can be tiring. It can wear our minds down a bit and we just want to have a little fun with our kids.

This is where annoying our kids come in. This does not consist of any kind of bullying, because that’s not my thing at all. Let’s knock that out. I’m talking wholesome fun where everyone laughs.

How does this work?

  • Know your kid. This is probably one of my favorite phrases ever in parenting, but it can be used in almost any situation. In this case, know what makes your kid laugh and what doesn’t. What’s funny to one kid might not be funny to another.
  • Know your kid’s limits. This kind of goes along with the first, because everyone has different limits, even kids. Be respectful and don’t go past those limits.

The Best Ways to Annoy Your Kids

This is the fun part, especially if your kids are about 10 and up.

  • Sing and/or dance along with your favorite songs in the car. Bonus points if you do this with their favorite songs. I rap along with Cardi B. I love Cardi. This is much to my kids’ dismay, but I have a lot of fun with it, mainly because I know they hate it. “MOM! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!”
  • Try to hug them in public. Don’t go overboard with this one, but just a little attempt will go a long way. It will be plenty. “Ew. Mom, no.
  • Lurk while they’re at the mall. Stay a short distance away, just enough for them to be like, “MOM, GO AWAY”. Then go away.
  • Show them baby pics and tell them how cute they were. I have a picture of Julian and Lily when they were about 2 and 3. Julian might have just turned 4 (his arm was in a cast). They were playing dress-up and it’s one of my favorite pictures. Me: Aww, look at you guys, you were actually being nice to each other. Julian: Mommmmm, no, ew, I was a baby.
  • Wake them up. The quickest way to annoy a child. Or is it just mine?

I am all about having fun with my kids- I try to squeeze it in when I can. They only get one childhood, right?

How do you annoy your kids? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Twin Mummy and Daddy

Survival of the Fittest: Parenting Through Puberty

I live in the middle of smelly socks, messy rooms, and so much pettiness that I’m contemplating creating a YouTube channel for the shenanigans that go on at my house daily. There are Gatorade bottles all over my boys’ room and Lily’s room still looks like an episode of “Hoarders”. It most likely will until she moves out, but I haven’t quite accepted this yet.

Teens on waterslide

The Yucky List

This is one of many things Matthew and I did not think out when we had kids- we seem to be getting through this unscathed, for the most part. There have been a few rough moments with Cameron, the most easy-going of the three. He gets mad, yells, might even cry a bit, but then he’s done and that’s it. He will be 14 in a few weeks- I’m still stuck on him turning 4.

The other two? Julian and Lily both have issues with emotional regulation thanks to their diagnoses (Lily’s is still unknown, we are waiting for results as this is being written) so that plus puberty, in which hormones are everywhere, this can get messy.

All three kids, however, eat everything we bring into the house and right now, the boys have some form of man colds and think they are dying so, yes, I’d say puberty is kicking right in. If you read my other post To Puberty and Beyond you may be able to get a sense of how things have progressed. (Spoiler: Cameron still takes naps.)

Upset teens

The Middle School Battlefield

Middle school can be rough. I’ve been lucky in this area, the boys haven’t had many issues, but Lily will be there next year and I worry my luck may run out. Girls can be cruel- picking on other girls about their weight, looks, interests, issues with boys, and so on.

Sometimes things are great with your daughter and her friends then POOF! She’s entirely left out of the group- no more sleepovers, hangouts, everything is gone. This can happen to boys, but it’s more common with girls because they tend to form closer relationships.

How can you help your child?

  • Validate their feelings. They need to know that what they feel is real, that you understand, and that it’s okay to be upset about what’s going on.
  • Listen. It may be hard to not instantly fix the problem for your child, but it may be better to let them talk, cry, or both.
  • Empower your child. Give him/her ideas on how to deal with the situation, like staying away from the person/people who is/are bothering them, eliminating them on social media, staying calm, ignoring, etc.
  • Look for signs of worsening issues. Kids can cover things up well and when depression, anxiety and other emotional issues are hidden, it can lead to more serious things, like substance abuse, self-harm, and even suicide. This has become a major issue in our country.

Speaking Of Hormones…

It’s a well-known fact that girls go through a lot during these years, hormonally, but what about boys? I think they might get ignored a bit. I don’t have brothers, so I didn’t get a day-to-day look at how boys operated when I was younger. I’ve got two older sisters. They have hormonal things going on, too. It just shows a bit differently.

Boys get upset, just like girls do. They cry. They yell, and might even slam a door. I’m not sure how my kids’ bedroom doors are still on their hinges. They get a bit spacey.

Me: “Cameron, restart the towels in the dryer, please and thanks.”

*fifteen minutes later, after he has made a sandwich and is sitting at the table*

Me: “Dude. The towels.”

Cameron: “Oh, crap. Sorry, Mom.” *runs to the basement*

This leads me to:

  • Make requests clear. If you need a teen to do something, you might want to revert back a few years and be clear in your directions. Remember when your kid was seven and still needed reminders on what they needed to do to clean their room? That. That’s what they need. Slightly exhausting, but otherwise those towels aren’t getting done.
  • Laugh. This should be a tip from day one until your kid moves out, but it’s definitely needed at this point in parenting. Your kid will do a lot of funny things- most of it on purpose. My house is full of laughs. There’s a lot of fart jokes, a few prank calls from their grandmother’s cell phones, and other weird things.
  • Encourage them. These are some hard years. School is long and sometimes “boring”, you’re trying to figure out who you are, make friends and just want to fit in. Plus your parents still want to know everything about your life? Ew. Your face and body are changing- maybe not in ways you like. YUCK to all of this. The best thing we can do is encourage our kids. Let them know things do get better. They do get easier, those pimples go away, they will get taller. Help them find something they enjoy. This can boost their self-esteem a bit.
  • Be straight-forward. Thanks to my battles with drinking, this has been an important theme with my kids. There are some details they really don’t need to know, but I’m fairly certain they understand the perils of drinking and using other substances. Matthew and I are straight-forward about most other topics because there really isn’t a point in sugar-coating things for the kids at their ages.

Elephant fight

Caution: Bad Attitudes Ahead

Lily is the Queen of Eyerolls at ten years old. She still has about two months before her 11th birthday. She rolls her eyes at almost anything she doesn’t like- food, being told no, having to clean her room, leaving her cousin Cheyenne’s house (they have been besties since birth)- the list goes on for a while.

Sometimes Matthew and I are the best people on the planet, sometimes we are just..ugh.

It’s hard to not take this personally, and I have to remind myself that Lily doesn’t really hate us. Julian really doesn’t want to live with either of his grandmothers (preferably Matthew’s mom because she has better WiFi and she lets them do basically whatever they want) and Cameron really isn’t going to stay in bed forever because he’s mad.

What do you do when your kid throws attitude at you?

  • Think of how you are reacting to the situation. Check your feelings- are you frustrated, angry or even super tired? These can affect how you deal with the situation. Take a break if you need to and come back to the discussion later.
  • Are you part of the problem or the solution? Are you helping your child through the issue or are you making it worse?
  • Is there a deeper issue that I am not seeing? When a teen is upset about something, it can come out in many ways. We may not be able to see the deeper issue unless we poke around a little but it is well worth the work. He or she might be showing one emotion but holding in an entirely different one.
  • Remind them of what behavior is and isn’t acceptable. Your child may need a reminder of this depending on their behavior and/or language towards you. It is acceptable to be angry, upset, etc, but not acceptable to be flat out disrespectful.

I hope I can get through these years and not need to eat humongous amounts of cheese cubes. Do you have tips to share for raising teens? I would love to hear them! Please leave them in the comments, social media or email (use my contact form).

Pictures courtesy of Unsplash

Information courtesy of Inspiring Life Dreams

Phase 2 Parenting

Thriving on Ordinary

Twin Mummy and Daddy

Humor? Yes, Please

A little comedy is always nice and I love memes. Have a good laugh!

I say all the curse words but the f-word is my fave. Matthew says I need to cut back but…nah.

Me in a job interview… I’m looking at part time positions and interviews are the worst. Hopefully nobody looks at my Twitter.

I’m very wary of people so this is me… that bird’s eye just gets me.

My sons. Anyone else’s kids? As soon as you leave the room, it’s on.

The joys of being all alone.

http://www.create-with-joy.com/2018/10/friendship-friday-blog-hop-348.html

Want to go home

A Bit of Humor

I thought I’d bring some humor to the blog, since my latest posts have been a bit heavy.

This is usually how I start my day. Most people open their playlist for a boost or listen to the radio… I’m looking for the newest episode of a true crime or murder related podcast. My kids are always teasing me about this. I promise I do listen to music. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s Song Lyric Saturday.

Kids are loud and get into things.

A lot.

I don’t recommend duct taping your kids to anything, it is a joke.

I’m not the only woman who’s bought something after having this convo with herself. Lots of clothing, makeup and books have been bought this way- maybe or maybe not in the same shopping trip.

Life is like that sometimes.

Eyeshadow and a new shirt just calls my name and maybe…my wallet needs to shut up.

My cats have different feelings about belly rubs. Miss Purr prefers we spend hours rubbing her belly. Tails? Nope. He rarely allows us to give them and he resembles the cat in the picture when he is done with it.

“Time to attack. I am done with this”

*attacks human*

I’ve become somewhat more introverted over the last few years. I don’t like getting out as much as I used to unless it’s with people I already know.

My top reasons for wanting to go home? I want to read and sit with my cats. I might be slightly tired.

Have a few laughs and an awesome day. 🙂