Many years ago, I knew I wanted to have kids.
At one point, four sounded great, but that got cut after Cameron was born. He was a tough baby and now he’s my most chilled-out kid.
Three is enough at this house. I have friends who have more than three, and I wonder how they do it.
Every parent that I’ve ever met has some sort of wish or dreams for their kids. Mine probably isn’t much different from theirs.
Doesn’t he look thrilled?
The Biggest Wish
I want my kids to live a life that they love. College is still debatable for the boys, and Lily hasn’t said much about it. I don’t think a college degree is necessary to go into an occupation.
My career required a degree, but not all do. I could have become a CNA and possibly made more, but due to RA, I’d probably have to stop at some point if not already.
My theory is: if it’s paying your bills, legal and you like it, then I support it.
Our school system has programs at each high school that students can go into for a career if they decide not to go to college. I think this is a great idea. Cameron is in a machine tool, computer-aided design (CAD) and engineering program.
He’s following in his grandfather and uncle’s footsteps. Matthew was NOT interested.
Julian is looking at programs and thinks a graphic design program might be a good idea. He loves computers and video games and loved to draw when he was younger.
If this is what makes them happy and fulfilled, who am I to stop them?
Of course, there’s more to life than working, so I hope they have a partner that they can be happy with and friends who they can be themselves with and are there when they need them. I also hope they remain passionate about what they like and believe in.
You can read more on my thoughts about my kids going to college here
Remember Who You Are
This was my grandfather’s biggest lesson to everyone in the family and it’s on his headstone.
In my kids’ case, I hope they remember that they can always come home and I’ll be here.
This also means being yourself and never running away from or changing that. That never ends well- I tried it and I was miserable.
In part of knowing who you are, I hope my kids never, ever accept being treated less than they deserve- because they deserve the best person for them. This also means never treating anyone with less respect because they’re different in any way. I think that lesson has been extensively covered.
Accepting people for who they are and where they are in life is a huge value of mine and I’ve worked so hard to teach my kids this. I think Cameron and Lily have learned a lot about acceptance, thanks to Julian.
I also hope my kids accept themselves as they are- nobody is perfect and I don’t expect anything close from them.
Adulting is a TRAP
I joke about this, but adulting is tough.
My boys can’t wait to hit 18, then 21 years old. They can do all the “fun things”.. Like pay bills and work?
I’m huge on self-sufficiency. No kid in this house is moving out unable to take care of themselves. All of them can cook in the microwave (we’re working on the stove), do laundry, clean the house (some better than others) and other things.
Welcome to the Future
At some point, I’m probably going to become a grandmother.
I plan to spoil them terribly and send them home.
I haven’t always been the best mom, but I’ve always loved my kids. I think they know this, and maybe my parenting will get passed down- the humorous parts, hopefully. They can do without the drinking part.
I hope my kids are great parents- they’ve seen me do my best with very little, struggle with my health (physical and emotional) and still be an okay mom.
Mainly, I want these kids to have more. We’ve struggled financially and it’s not fun for anyone involved. It’s stressful and can break a family.
I know their lives will hit difficult periods- I hope I’ve armed them with the tools to get through those times.
Just an Ordinary Mom
I’m just a mom writing a blog of my thoughts. I don’t wish or hope for much with my kids. I’d love to see where their lives lead them. I’m trying to stay healthy (and mobile) enough to do so.
For further reading:
What I want my kids to know about Friendship