I am writing this as a mom of three teens (or almost teens) months into a global epidemic. I have to remind myself that there is no book for getting through something like this with your kids- someone send me a link if there is! My kids are incredibly smart and don’t miss a lot. We watch the news just about every day (I work two evenings a week) and discuss the things we’ve seen.Raising teens is hard enough with stinky feet, pimples and hormones. I have a lot more to worry about these days. As for the pandemic, I’m worried about myself, Matthew or the kids getting the coronavirus.I’m immunocompromised thanks to RA and the medication I take for it. One of those medications is Plaquenil, you know, the medicine that will save the world. Plus, Cameron has SVT and this virus can do some serious damage to a person’s heart.Currently, we are waiting for school to start online. Jefferson County Public Schools (JCPS) is the largest school district in Kentucky, there are just over 100,000 kids going to school here. The superintendent decided to start school online.This will go for the first 6 weeks, and they will evaluate afterward. Our rock star Governor, Andy Beshear, has asked all 120 counties to wait until the end of September to start in-person classes. I don’t know if all of them will do so, but JCPS isn’t willing to chance it.Obviously, there’s a lot of hard topics to discuss with my kids. We have talked extensively on racism, because of its importance. We’re an interracial family- I would be doing my kids a total disservice if I didn’t. If you want my thoughts on the current racial events, please read Just In Case Anyone WonderedWe have also covered:
- masks (in Kentucky, this is a huge topic because some people really aren’t wearing them)
- the economy
- the pandemic and its assorted changes
- trying to do things differently than we planned and being okay with it
- staying in touch with friends and family during this weird time
But how did I discuss these topics? Keep reading.
Meet Your Kids Where They Are
I learned many years ago that knowing your kid will go a long way. Learning your child’s personality and how they see things can enhance many things, including communication. I’m still learning to meet Lily where she is developmentally, but it’s getting better.My first tip: know your kid. Some kids can handle discussing hard topics pretty well, but some need to take baby steps. This is okay, because every kid is different, even in the same family. For example, Cameron is laid-back just like his dad and pretty much takes things in stride, but Lily needs in-depth details.This also helps in knowing when to stop the discussion so nobody leaves upset (depending on the topic). Knowing your kid and meeting them where they are emotionally and intellectually.Tip 2: Throw a little real-life experience or story if you can. This helps a kid relate better to what you are trying to tell them. Example: when I told the kids that I have RA, I asked them if they remember me not being able to do things because I am either too tired and/or in pain, and go from there. If they need facts, give them. Look up things together if you need to.Tip 3: Don’t throw too much information at them at once. Kids get overwhelmed and that’s okay. A person can only process so much. This can depend on the age of the kids and the topic.Tip 4: Share your thoughts. Everyone has an opinion and your kids will likely want to know yours. You may be surprised at how much your kid will think the same way you do..or maybe not. I’ve had some interesting talks with my boys and I was surprised to see that they think about some things differently.It’s okay if your child thinks differently than you. It’s been an eye-opening experience. They take your thoughts with them into the world, so let’s give them some good ones.Tip 5: Remind your child that you are there for them. They may need some time to process the discussion and may have reflecting feelings later. This is okay- just be prepared for pop-up questions and emotions.I would add a tip on knowing a good time to talk, but I’m not sure there’s ever a good time to discuss what’s going on around us right now.As my yoga instructor always said, “We can do hard things”. If this isn’t a hard time to be a parent, I have no idea when it would be.Pic is from unsplash