Real Stories of a (Former) Mental Health Worker

Note: There is this gorgeous law (HIPAA) that prevents me from using real names in this post, and so I will use an asterisk when needed to indicate that names were changed. I will also not use the actual names of the facilities I worked at for similar reasons, because I’m not trying to get sued. I’m a blogger and behavior health technician, not a millionaire.

This month is Mental Health Awareness Month. This post is dedicated to my former co-workers (especially my Resource Team friends) and mental health professionals everywhere.

It’s a rough profession and deserves a lot more respect than it gets. It’s also very rewarding, which is one of the many reasons why I am glad that I chose psychology as my field of work.

A Few Definitions

I know not everyone understands these terms, so here are some definitions to help you out a bit:

Mental Health Technician/Mental Health Worker/Mental Health Associate: these are all pretty much the same, depending on where you work. I’ve been called all three.

1:1: a patient that requiring someone is with them at all times, whether they are asleep or not, sometimes both. This can get very tedious, and sometimes you have to stay within arms’ reach of the patient for safety reasons.

Code: this is not the code you see on TV. This code is for physical backup when things get out of hand, mainly when a patient is being aggressive, destructive or a combo. These are called for a variety of reasons, but these are the two most common ones.

Resource Team- an amazing team of people trained to work on every inpatient unit in a mental health facility. They are responsible for knowing everything about all the units, and they catch hell for messing up. It’s a great team to be a part of because they stick together and you never know what will happen next or where you will be. It’s also very stressful.

Checks/Rounds: ensuring patient safety by visualizing patients every 15 minutes.

(I’ve seen C.Diff, and it’s ugly, especially in non-verbal kids. YIKES)

Let me set up the story for you…

In June 2007, Spalding University granted me a Bachelor of Arts in Clinical Psychology. Many don’t know this unless you ask, see it in my author bio or on my resume.

It took me five years, a change in major (my first major was in apparel design and merchandising- fancy wording for fashion design), school and two kids, but I finally graduated. I also completed a mandatory 100-hour practicum.

I was not prepared for my first job out of college. I had gotten a job as a Mental Health Technician at *Clear Lake Hospital and I was a bit nervous but ready to start my career.

I started the week after I finished classes. (I walked June 2, but still to finish my last class, which was sheer torture.) I did fine in orientation but was not happy when I found out that I was placed on the geriatric unit.

What?

This facility didn’t let you pick what unit you went to, but I had hoped I wasn’t going to get put on a unit I didn’t like.

I was not thrilled about being placed on this unit, known as the *Willow Tree Unit. I wanted to transfer immediately, but there was a policy preventing me from doing so for 6 months. I decided to wait it out.

Two months into that wait, I discovered that I was pregnant with Lily. My OB/GYN told me that I would be better off where I was because the pregnancy was not an easy one from the beginning.

A different unit would be a faster pace and could result in more issues with my pregnancy. I decided to stay put so that Lily would have a better chance of being okay. I ended up liking the *Willow Tree Unit.

The staff was nice- I was the youngest tech on first shift. Once word got around that I was pregnant, the nurses and other techs took care of me.

One afternoon, my shoes became untied and I couldn’t reach them because my belly was huge. I burst into tears and one of my fellow techs tied them for me. She understood the struggle- she’d been in my spot two years before.

I didn’t get to finish out the pregnancy on that unit- I went into preterm labor at 31 weeks (on Cameron’s 3rd birthday, of all days) and my OB/GYN told me that I would have to stop working or go on light duty, basically a desk job.

I chose the desk job because we needed the money. I went to medical records for all of five weeks or so. The ladies there were nice and began a betting pool on when Lily would show up. Lily shares a birthday with one of the ladies in the office, which everyone found hilarious.

Thanks to Kentucky state budget cuts, the *Willow Tree Unit was closed down while I was on light duty, and when I came back from maternity leave, I was sent to an acute care unit. I was better suited for that unit and stayed there until I left in June 2008 for a counseling position in Indiana.

The Real Fun Begins

In late 2010, I was ready for a new and closer to home position. I found another Mental Health Worker position at *MidRiver Regional Hospital. This time, I was able to pick where I wanted to go, because it was in the application. I would be on the Resource Team. It sounded very interesting and kind of fun.

I was absolutely right. Orientation was a bit boring- but that’s where I met Josh (Jake’s older brother) so I call that a win. I had to shadow for a couple of weeks on each unit- a couple of days with another worker, and then I was unleashed.

The very first day was a day that is forever etched in my mind- I was on *2West, a unit that was then used for kids from 12-18 with autism and other developmental disabilities. It was super loud, wild and some of the kids were way bigger than me.

What did I sign up for?

I took a huge deep breath, looked at my assignment sheet and kept going.

I spent two years on the Resource Team. It was a lot of fun- full of laughs, friends, and a few mishaps. I’ve run after people that eloped, including one that I chased across a busy street along with another worker. The kid ran off at a hospital and we did catch her. I’ve been punched in the head. I even caught a stereo cord to the face.

I was with a 1:1 and the patient was very upset about her Justin Beiber CD was repeatedly skipping. I told her that maybe it was time to try a different activity, and tried to unplug the stereo. She picked it up, then dropped it, and when I went to pick it up, she hit me in the face with the cord.

A code was immediately called and I was taken off the floor. I was taken to the main nursing office to get my face looked at.

I called Matthew to get me from work, and he took me to a nearby hospital- I ended up with three liquid stitches. You can barely see the scar today. I took the next day off because my eye was so swollen that I had a hard time seeing out of it, and let me tell you, tetanus shots are not fun.

As for the patient, she was so upset when she found out what happened to me, she became hysterical. I was one of her favorite staff members. She had to be medicated to calm down. She apologized the next time she saw me.

While I was working at this facility, things were not that great at home. Julian wasn’t diagnosed until late 2011. I was struggling a lot internally with both anxiety and depression. You can read about those events in A Letter to my Anxiety and Depression and Looking At the Bright Side

I was able to lose myself in my work. I loved being able to help others and work with great people. We had a lot of fun on the good days and on the not so good days, pull together and make things work. That, to me, is the definition of teamwork.

In March 2013, I had a mini-stroke. My neurologist suggested afterward that I needed to start looking for ways to lessen or eliminate stress in my life. By this point, I was ready to leave the Resource Team- it was getting too stressful for me. Some people leave after months, some people stay the entire time they are at the facility.

I started thinking about which unit would be a good fit. I was pretty much done with adults- that was where the bulk of my work had been, and I needed something different. I had realized that I really enjoyed the kids on *2West and the staff was great.

I’d volunteer to go there when other people didn’t want to go- it was a rough unit. I didn’t really enjoy cleaning poop off walls (who does? I can’t make this up, it really happens) but it had become my favorite unit.

It took a few months of waiting, but a position opened up. By then, I had met Jake, and that was his home unit. I applied, interviewed and got the full-time Mental Health Associate position. My Resource Team friends were sad to see me go (my friend Scott begged me not to go), but they were not surprised to hear where I was going.

a quiet moment

practical jokes.. a daily event

It turns out that going to *2West was the best career move I’ve ever made. I loved it.

Those kids were not always the easiest to work with- I’ve been kicked in the eye, had my hair pulled out in clumps, broken my big left toe twice and in the same way. It still doesn’t bend correctly. I’ve seen all kinds of naked kids. I’ve left work scratched and bruised from multiple holds. I’ve gotten sick from these kids- strep throat can go through 20 kids fast.

I also learned a lot- how to sign (some), how to learn about a kid even when they are non-verbal. I learned that some families are worse than you can imagine and even the ones that look great are horrible.

Autism is not seen as often in girls, but when it is, it tends to be severe. One of my favorite kids was a tall, thin girl named *Michelle. She was a runner and I got lots of exercise running after her in the halls. She was also non-verbal but showed her feelings by squeezing your hands.

She squeezed my hands every day to say “hello” and “goodbye” but if she was angry, she would pull on your arms while squeezing your hands. She was so much fun to work with. When she left, she bent down to hug me goodbye, and both *Claire (her behavior analyst) and I cried. That’s a very unusual thing.

Taylor Swift sing-a-longs were a regular thing and so were movie days on the weekends. We tried to make things as fun as we could for the kids. We took them outside and let them play as much as they were able to on the playground. We got the kids out of bed, fed them, got them through their days and back into bed- for some of them, we were more of a family to them than their own.

*Mason was a kid who saw us exactly like that. I met him while doing checks and he was in the shower singing “Baby Got Back”. He was hilarious, and once beatboxed to me about needing toothpaste.

However, he came from a family that didn’t treat him well, which contributed to some of the reasons he came to the facility. Once, I was planning an outing with another associate, and he asked us to take him and the other patients to a strip club. That did not happen, but we laughed hysterically after he left the room.

These kids were so funny, smart in their own way. I couldn’t have asked for better co-workers. Some days entirely sucked, but it was still a fun adventure.

My last day there was September 2, 2015. I left after being told about Jake’s death, and I came back two days later to get my things and leave my nurse manager a note telling her I wouldn’t be back.

I couldn’t write this post without mentioning Jake, Austin, Scott (not the one mentioned earlier), Cisco or Colleen. I lost these co-workers while working with them or after and each loss was a bad one. They left behind families that loved them and patients that they touched. They worked hard (Cisco got electrocuted trying to keep a patient safe) and had a lot of love for their patients.

I’m retired from this line of work- thanks to my RA diagnosis. My rheumatologist would go ballistic. I am left with so many memories and friends. That’s what work and life are all about.

All pics are my personal pics except for one pin on my Pinterest board. Pinterest

The Benefits of Early Intervention

Kids develop at their own pace. There are timelines in which we usually expect things to happen, like crawling, walking, talking, etc. Some kids skip a phase entirely, for example, Julian barely crawled before learning to walk. A kid that talks in 3-word sentences at 2 1/2 may have walked at 10 months old. It’s hard to tell when these milestones may occur.

Sometimes, kids hit milestones later than they should. This is due to a lot of factors- prematurity, lack of time with parent/caregiver helping them learn things, etc. I’ve also learned that sometimes delays happen for no reason at all. Lily has done things on her own time since the womb.

She wanted out at 31 weeks, but my OB stepped in and stopped her. The day after I reached 37 weeks, Lily had had enough and she was born later that day. Being three weeks early, she weighed in at 5 lbs, 12 oz, the smallest of my kids. I could pick her up with one hand for a month (not that I did). She wore preemie clothes for a couple of months. In 2008, preemie diapers were a pain to find and I was delighted when she finally grew out of them.

She has always been a great sleeper. As a baby, we could barely hear her crying because she was so quiet.Twelve years later, you can definitely hear her if she cries and she loves to sleep.Lily was a small baby and everyone loved cuddling and playing with her. Her brothers actually fought over who got to put her bottles in the sink to be washed. (They were 3 and 1 1/2 at the time.) It took some time before I realized that she wasn’t reaching her milestones.

I mentioned to her pediatrician at a checkup that I was worried because she wasn’t crawling, pointing to things she wanted and a few other things. I was given a phone number for an Early Intervention program, known locally as First Steps, and advised to schedule an evaluation.

The evaluation was the day before her first birthday. It broke my heart watching her struggle to do things she should have been able to do or at least try. As soon as the evaluator left, I burst into tears and cried through the next day. I knew something was wrong.

Lily turned one and started First Steps almost immediately after. She had physical, speech and occupational delays. This is also referred to as “global” delays. In her case, it was hard to tell what caused these delays. She wasn’t born early enough for that to be an issue. I took care of myself the best I could throughout the pregnancy- I worked full time and chased the boys around. After going into labor at 31 weeks, I basically sat and did nothing as my OB recommended, including going on light duty at work. I didn’t drink, do drugs or anything that could have harmed her. I was at a loss.

Lily had great therapists- I am still Facebook friends with Denise, her speech therapist. Denise was the only therapist that stayed the whole two years because Lily needed extensive speech therapy. The other two therapies lasted for about 6 months (physical) and a year (occupational). When she got to preschool, her teachers asked if she had ever recieved speech therapy because she talked so well. I explained that she did and that Denise did a great job.

It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows- Lily would throw herself on the floor because she was frustrated trying to talk. She hated the sensory suitcase that the OT brought to see what textures she could and couldn’t tolerate. When learning to run, she ran into her open bedroom door, cutting her forehead. There’s a scar, but she doesn’t remember how it got there!

Of course, during all this, Julian started showing behaviors that would later lead to his diagnosis. It was a rough time for all five of us and it almost led to the end of my marriage. I’m glad that I was able to get Lily what she needed. She is still seeing a dietician and will be starting OT again very soon, whenever the world opens up.

What Do I Do? How can I find help for my child?

As I said earlier, I talked to Lily’s pediatrician at a checkup, but you can call or email your child’s pediatrician whenever you think is necessary for this issue. Some pediatricians may take a “wait and see” approach but if you think it’s more serious, don’t be afraid to push for your baby to be seen.

Most, if not all states have programs that provide early intervention services to kids ages birth-three. The program in Louisville is First Steps. There’s an evaluation and a meeting afterward to discuss what may or may not be needed. If you don’t like the therapist you get, it’s easy to change. At three, your child is no longer able to receive these services and will be evaluated to see if they need to go to Head Start for more therapies or if they can be discharged and go to preschool.

Lily was evaluated a month before her third birthday and she aged out. She went to preschool that August.

I will say this as a mom who has been there: DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. I did this for a long time, even after I knew that Lily’s delays were global and there wasn’t a reason for them. Just remember that you are doing the best you can, which is what really matters.

So what ARE the benefits?

1. Obviously, getting early intervention services can help your child not get further behind in their development than they already may be. If you elect to not get services at all, this may mean a lifetime of difficulties for your child. There is no shame in getting your child assistance. It’s most effective when done early. Had I waited longer to get Lily into First Steps, or not done it at all, she would still be struggling with her speech. I just wish I had picked therapies back up a little earlier than I did.
2. The therapist(s) come to you. This Discusses the legal requirement of the IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) of therapists coming into a child’s natural environment as much as possible. Children learn better when in a familiar place.
3. You are involved in the team that works with your child. You get to say what services you do and do not want your child to receive.
4. Therapists and others working with your child can help you get other services, should you need them.
5. Your child can improve their skills at their pace and not feel rushed. The therapists can model what you may need to do between sessions.

There is something great about watching your child learn and grow through their therapies. Your child may need extra help, and this is okay. Your child will be better off having had early intervention.

Looking At the Bright Side

A Dark Day Brings Light

November 23, 2011, was a dark day at my house, but yet it brought a lot of light to my mind. That is the day Julian was diagnosed with ADHD (combined) and traits of Asperger’s Syndrome. (This was later amended to a full diagnosis and he is now considered to be on the autism spectrum because Asperger’s was removed from the DSM-V.)

It brought tears and peace at the same time. I finally had answers to so many questions. I wasn’t a bad mom, there was actually a reason he was doing all these things.

I finally had tools to help him. I could help him calm himself so he wouldn’t throw toys, hit his siblings or myself. I might even get dinner done on time some nights instead of stopping to deal with Julian’s meltdowns.

Losing Perspective

Somewhere in the middle of trying behavior charts, evaluations and basically bribing Julian to act appropriately, I’d forgotten the good things about him. He did have those, like every other kid.

For example, Julian is so intelligent. For the most part, he’s always done well in math and science. He hates reading.

There is a bright side to having a kid with special needs. It changes you in ways you never thought possible. You may have learn a lot about the diagnosis (or more than one), but you’ll be able to spread awareness about it. I’ve become very vocal about ADHD and autism.

You can read my thoughts on the vaccination/autism debate in this post:

The Autism/Vaccine Debate

I’ve walked for a local organization for families of children with autism. I worked with kids with autism for almost five years, and I loved it. It makes it easier for me to deal with the struggles.

I know I’m far from alone because there are many families that have the same day to day issues that I do. This includes some of my friends.
I’ve learned that you have to be a different parent for each kid.

What works for Lily may not work for Julian. Cameron responds a lot differently to things than his siblings. We have had to adjust to Julian’s quirks and needs and become a lot more creative and open-minded. I’ve had to think on my feet a lot and outside the box a lot more.

Learning to Adjust

I never really went through the stage that some parents do in which they grieve what they imagined what their child would be able to do. Julian will still have a full life- he will just have a few bumps along the way.

We are able to see the world through a different lens with Julian- slightly narrowed thinking, a dry sense of humor, ability to help with or without asking- he loves to help his dad and grandfather do “big guy stuff”. He does show emotions, but we are still working on empathy.

I have become tougher. I don’t see this as a terrible thing. I’ve learned to fight for what Julian needs and I will do that until he can do it on his own. I won’t let him be in the world on his own without knowing how to get help if he needs it and without the skills, he needs to navigate his issues.

We do have bad days as parents, with or without special needs kids. Looking at the bright side can help bring our focus back to the positivity around us- our kids.

We Have to Stick Together

I’ve read a lot about parenting.

I’ve been a mom for fourteen years- Cameron was born in January 2005. (Yikes.)

There’s a lot of moms out there that try their hardest to demonstrate that parenting is easy.

I don’t know what planet they live on, but this is not easy.

Unless you are lucky enough to have nannies or other in-home help, you’re not sleeping much for a while after you have a baby. They aren’t the greatest sleepers. Some babies gracefully sleep all night at an early age and at that point, you may want to build a shrine to the parenting gods.

I almost did when Lily slept through the night before I went to work after her birth. Her brothers wouldn’t have thought about this.

The toddler and preschool years?

You love your kid, but are also ready to list them for sale on Etsy about three minutes after they terrify the cat.

This is the time where they learn so much and repeat things they probably shouldn’t. Break out the phones for those moments.

When kindergarten hits, be ready for tears.

Elementary school is full of fun and adventure… Just wait for the middle school. I’m currently there and, wow, is it full of things I never saw.

Pets, Stinky Feet and Sancti-Mommies

We’ve had a few pets along the way. Tiger was with us for a few months and sadly, we had to say goodbye after a tumor ruptured on his leg.

It was bad enough to make that decision, but it was worse to have to tell the kids. I couldn’t fix Tiger’s leg and keep him with us.

Tails and Miss Purr, along with the turtles, Biggie Smalls and Lightning, complete our house. We love them- they are family members.

Stinky feet are everywhere at my house. These kids are gross. They shower all the time.

The preteen and teenage stage…

Double yikes.

There’s so many things to explain- drugs, alcohol, mean girls and boys, sex, and the list goes on. As Ferris Bueller once said, “Life moves pretty fast.

He wasn’t kidding.

Then, there’s the moms that think their way is the best and that they are better than everyone else.

Whew….

They have tons to learn.

First of all, should they have a child with any kind of special needs, they are entirely screwed. Your mindset changes and throwing shade at other moms isn’t going to give you the support you are going to need.

Once these moms become known for their less-than-polite ways, who really wants to be within a mile of that?

I don’t.

As Ariana Grande says, thank you, next.

I’m all for research and opinions, but there are ways to express these respectfully. It’s possible to be nice and say what you think.

Parenting is the roughest job that many of us will ever have, unless you’re a first responder, logger, or something equally tough.

We need to stick together and remember all of us are doing the best we can. This goes for moms of newborns, elementary school-aged kids, even adults. It’s tough out there.

If you know a mom (or dad) who is struggling, try to help them out. It might be the best thing anyone does for them in a while.

Until next week, hang in there and try to laugh off your kid’s latest adventure.

Pics courtesy of pixels and pinterest

Back to School- Monthly Roundup

I am certainly thrilled to say the kids are back in school.

This month’s picks have a bit of a back-to-school/educational theme.

Spoonies: Behind The Theory

The College Mental Health Strain

Book Review: “Sharp Objects”

Homeschooling: Is It Right for Your Family?

The Dangers of Ignoring Mental Illness